{"id":2935,"date":"2023-11-03T08:12:18","date_gmt":"2023-11-03T08:12:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/?p=2935"},"modified":"2023-11-03T08:12:18","modified_gmt":"2023-11-03T08:12:18","slug":"david-beckham-too-much-of-a-good-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/david-beckham-too-much-of-a-good-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"David Beckham \u2013 too much of a good thing?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Maybe not, as the Netflix series, Beckham, got 12.4 million views in its first week\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, what I\u2019m more interested in is David Beckhams personality style \u2013 do we see glimpses over an overcontrolled personality style throughout the series, did this help him become a great footballer, and is there anything we can learn from his story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Can you have too much self-control?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Self-control, the ability to inhibit competing urges, impulses, behaviors, or desires and delay gratification in order to pursue future goals is often equated with success and happiness. However, too much self-control, or overcontrol (OC), characterised by maladaptive perfectionism, compulsive striving and high levels of distress tolerance can be equally problematic. Overcontrol is associated with social isolation, loneliness, poor interpersonal functioning, and severe and difficult-to-treat mental health problems, such as anorexia nervosa, chronic depression, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (e.g., Lynch &amp; Cheavens, 2008; Zucker et al., 2007).&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many professional sports people have an overcontrolled coping style; after all, to succeed at such a high level you have to have discipline, determination, and great distress tolerance! But even at lower levels of sport, it\u2019s often the combination of an OC temperament and early parental environment that shapes sporting success \u2013 and perhaps more importantly, personality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Throughout the Beckham documentary there are multiple moments where David Beckham exemplifies an over-controlled coping style, and we see how a combination of David\u2019s temperament (nature) and early family environment (nurture) shaped and reinforced this coping style. In RO DBT, this convergence of nature and nurture is referred to as the \u2018biosocial theory\u2019. You can watch a video of Dr Lynch, the RO DBT treatment developer, talking about the theory here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-4-3 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Introduction to Overcontrol &amp; Radical Openness by Professor Thomas Lynch\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/D6SPsbguncE?list=PLkKKzTWUSjRhnRr5Pe2GMA7VDg_E8wBcm\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>In the early episodes, David\u2019s dad, Ted, beautifully illustrates one aspect of the OC \u2018nurture\u2019 element of the theory \u2013 a parent that overvalues performance, high achievement and winning. David remembers his dad taking him out for hours to practice \u2013 \u201cleft foot, right foot, over and over and over again, OK, not good enough, do it again, not good enough, do it again, over and over again\u201d. David tells us he was more scared when his dad was watching him play because \u201cI knew if I put a foot wrong, he\u2019d tell me. And he\u2019d always tell me. Always.\u201d We learn Ted never complimented David, and when Ted was asked if he was too tough on David, he replies: \u201cNo, if I told him how good he was, then he\u2019s got nothing to work at\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that highlighting mistakes as intolerable, with an emphasis on winning, can send a message to the child that they are never good enough, and contribute to the development of maladaptive perfectionism. All too often, controlling behaviour by parents and coaches is portrayed as necessary for success as an athlete. But evidence shows this idea is mistaken. In fact, such an approach can be detrimental to both a child\u2019s chances of sporting success and their wellbeing. Evidence suggests it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul><li>harms children\u2019s confidence and self-esteem.<\/li><li>is associated with depression and anxiety.<\/li><li>increases competition anxiety.<\/li><li>and leads to sports dropout.<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>An experiment at the 2012 Olympic Games found coaches with a more supportive approach achieved higher medal tallies than those who did not (Cheon, Reeve, Lee and Lee 2015). Although this study was focused on coaches, many parents act as coaches for their children (and not just for sports activities), making these findings important for us to bear in mind \u2013 as parents and as mental health professionals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>David Beckham was gifted with a natural talent that compensated and complimented the controlling behaviour of his dad, football coaches and managers \u2013 but he is one in a million!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For the other nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand of us, a focus on fun, learning new skills, making friends, and being part of a team can help kids, their parents and their coaches get the most out of the games they love \u2013 and, perhaps more importantly, help build a happier, healthier life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>*Temperament: genetic predispositions that determine the way we experience and react to the world<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Maybe not, as the Netflix series, Beckham, got 12.4 million views in its first week\u2026 However, what I\u2019m more interested in is David Beckhams personality style \u2013 do we see glimpses over an overcontrolled personality style throughout the series, did this help him become a great footballer, and is there anything we can learn from [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2937,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2935"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2935"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2935\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2939,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2935\/revisions\/2939"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2937"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2935"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2935"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.radicallyopen.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2935"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}