It\u2019s been eight months since I started individual RO-DBT as a client, and since then, I\u2019ve come to several conclusions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
First, RO-DBT therapists are a rare species (with fabulous eyebrows, may I add *insert eyebrow wag*). They are slightly obsessed with self-enquiry (\u201cWhat is there to learn?\u201d), awkward role plays (unfortunately for me) and leisure magazines (especially the ones filled with the latest Hollywood gossip).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Secondly, RO-DBT therapists have superpowers. At least, mine does. For example, she has the unique ability to detect emotional avoidance at a level that feels legally questionable. She is attuned to my facial expressions, which leads to self-conscious emotions. Finally, she is skilled at using humour and makes me laugh sometimes, which lifts my spirits whenever I\u2019m having a bad day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, what makes an RO-DBT therapist different than a \u201cregular\u201d therapist? I can only speak from lived experience, but from what I\u2019ve observed, the main difference is that RO-DBT therapists aren\u2019t afraid of being their imperfect selves. They practice and model radical openness, humility, and play. They help their clients feel less alone in their struggles, and they can be both gentle and challenging at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My therapist knows when to call me out and when to reassure me that I\u2019m not a burden. She gets weirdly excited when I cancel therapy because I\u2019m sick, and even considers it a success??? She responds in a way that I\u2019m not used to, and I\u2019m often taken by surprise, especially because I\u2019m used to seeing therapists who specialize in standard DBT.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She\u2019s an expert when it comes to recognizing a slight change in my tone of voice. She is not fooled by my \u201cI\u2019m fine\u2019s.\u201d I\u2019m willing to bet that she is deeply unimpressed by my excessive self-control. In fact, I\u2019m certain that the more composed I appear, the more curious (and suspicious) she gets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019m still recovering from that time when she dared me to show up to a Silent Book Club, Twilight <\/em>in hand (thankfully for me, the library was closed so it was impossible to checkout that *embarrassing* book).<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m still puzzled by her question of, \u201cDo you think it\u2019s possible to get an A without putting in maximum effort?\u201d Even if the answer is yes, obviously maximum effort is always required, or else you didn\u2019t really<\/em> earn it?! Everyone knows that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n And finally, I\u2019m grateful for the validation and emotional support she offers me each week. Having a therapist is a huge privilege, and I don\u2019t take this privilege for granted. I\u2019m lucky to have found her when I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I think what I appreciate the most about my therapist is her modelling self-enquiry. One of her best self-enquiry questions so far has been, \u201cBy choosing to do this, what am I giving up?\u201d I am also a fan of her signature phrase, \u201cWhat makes you say that?\u201d as well as her willingness to receive feedback.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019ve had A LOT of therapists over the years, and each of them managed to bring their personality into the room, one way or another. I would describe my current RO-DBT therapist\u2019s style as warm, steady, and kind. Her approach is gentler than I\u2019m used to, and she often uses an easy manner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Most importantly, her overall aesthetic includes vibrant turquoise (think tropical ocean waters), a Starbucks drink always nearby, and a relaxed, \u201cit\u2019s okay to chill out\u201d and \u201cwelcome to the tribe\u201d vibe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
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