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Jamie Martin Archive

It’s lonely at the top

So, I’ve been thinking about the ways that I may treat myself as special or different from other people. In RO DBT, we sometimes call this the enigma predicament, i.e., “I am not like other people” (see Lynch 2018, pg. 318 of the RO DBT Textbook and the webinar ‘The Enigma Predicament’, Level 2 of […]

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Judgy Face

Lesson 14 in RO-DBT mindfulness teaches awareness of harsh judgments and encourages us to notice our judgmental social signal towards self and others. It asks questions like, “How do I express my harsh judgmental thoughts about others? For example, do I exhibit a flat face, scowl, look away, laugh or chuckle, seek agreement from others, […]

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Sorry, Not Sorry

As the pandemic began and quarantine started, I noticed feeling more on edge and being easily irritated by anything out of place in my house. I was working a lot as many of my clients were struggling with the adjustment and trying to figure out technology issues of doing therapy online. I was also processing […]

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From Rivals to Friends

I grew up with several sisters, and we were all very competitive in nature. I have distinct memories of the ways that we tried to gain advantage over one another and perceive that we were “winning.” We would make every little thing into a competition. Our contests ranged from who could arrange food on our […]

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Keeping Score of Kindness

It was early in the morning as I was walking through the plane aisle. I was grumpy from plane delays and feeling pain radiate from my back (somewhat chiding myself for using a backpack to travel rather than a suitcase). As I found my seat, I glanced at the overhead compartment sighing at the inevitable […]

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The Art of Teasing

“Are you going to give him a dog treat too?” My friend teases with a coy smile. Her tone is warm and friendly and I can feel her gaze just out of my line of sight. Just a moment before I had been mechanically rewarding a child I hardly knew with a “well done” for […]

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